Slow Burn

It hit me recently… we've known each other for over twelve years now. Not well, not for most of that. Despite just being a tenth of a mile away, it seems like whole entire seasons would often go by without seeing or talking to you…

I always kinda wanted to. I'm not kidding when I say I've always liked you too much. I wish I could say I remember every last detail of our first meeting, but the truth is… neither one of us were looking for love… But, still. You left impressions on me. I might not be able to describe that very first conversation, but I know that that slow burn started then and there.

When was that, anyways? When did we first meet. I mean, for the very first time?

My money's on the fall potluck, just a day or two after we moved in. I just cannot imagine you not introducing yourself, and welcoming us to the neighborhood.

Some time later, perhaps in the spring? We were talking to another neighbor, who suggested we talk to you about the neighborhood garage sale. I didn't even know your name yet, but she pointed at your house and I remember thinking “Oh… the angel.”

I wasn't looking for love, that's true. But some part of me already knew.

But the first conversation I really remember… the one where I thought “gosh, I want to talk to this person so much more than I get to…” was at a Scout meeting. You came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder… I didn't even know who it was yet, but the touch sent shivers down my spine… and I turned around…

“Hey, neighbor!”

And that smile… oh… my gosh… that smile…

I wonder if you even realize how powerful your smile even is, my love… sigh

I'm certain we'd talked before then. I know I already liked you more than I was supposed to. I'm pretty sure at least one or two of those rides you gave me to pick up my sick kid from school must have been before that night…

(and those… gosh, I was nervous as could be calling you to ask for the favor… I'd say I don't even know why, but… I do…)

I guess my point is… it might have taken a long time for the thing to boil, but this has been cooking for some time now, my love. Truly, that pot had been set to simmer from that first meeting at the potluck, even if I don't even remember for sure whether that meeting even actually occurred…

And the amazing thing… as I've finally started to get to know you better… finally started to get to spend some time with you that wasn't just some kid's event…

All those impressions… all of those thoughts about how remarkable you are… all those feelings that you and I seemed to share some kind of connection, some bond that we've not gotten to really explore yet…

It's all true.

Every time I learn something new about you… and there is so much still for me to learn… I fall more deeply in love with you. Even when it contradicts whatever I may have thought before… Except… except… except… that almost never happens. Surprises, sure… Details. But the overall impression? My overall understanding of you? Pretty sure I already had that nailed down before I lost my mind.

Maybe that's even why I lost my mind.

Because I've never met anybody like you before. It's like you took all of my buttons — every single last one of them — and laid them all out like a bed, and you take joy in just rolling around on that bed, randomly pushing each and every one of them in turn.

I love you, my hill by the lake. I can't even imagine a more perfect match for my heart.

So, sure… perhaps it started as a slow burn… a little simmer on the back burner…

But it is a rolling boil now. And I don't see it ever letting up. I've loved you with this level of intensity for years now. And I just don't see it ever cooling down, especially since it still builds, every single time I see you. Every. Single. Time.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Always have. Always will.

Yours,
♒️